You can't make this stuff up

Heavens, she looks so innocent, but is nothing but.

There he is standing at my door.  One of the many guards who roam the premises, doing . . .

It's Sunday afternoon and I know the girls are indoors, surely no killer bees indoors. 

Anyway, I smile and say, "Hi."  Immediately, "One of your daughters finds you." 

"Excuse me," I said in the kindest, most understanding, and not I'm-making-fun-of-your-English-in-my-head voice that I could muster. 

I knew the girls were playing in the clubhouse, so I was sure someone was causing some disturbance.

"Your daughter finds you in the club house," he said. 

"Oh, my daughters asked you to come and get me?"  I know, I should have just followed him instead of correcting him, but I feel it's a duty if he's trying his English out on me. I shouldn't make fun, but I do.  Although, there's no way I could say in Cantonese, his daugther finds him. He's definitely flying high above me. 

I walk to the clubhouse and find Claire sitting in front of the desk with a bloody tissue in her hand and two adults with walkie talkies standing over her. I wish they would tell me where the Costco is - Lord at the number of walkie talkies in this place. I digress.

I knew instantly she had pulled her tooth because she had been working on that tooth all morning. On the way to church I told her to stop because the taxi driver would make us exit the vehicle if she succeeded without a tissue (I had none, nor did she). 

She was completely together. . . no tears.  The guard holds up the tooth in another tissue and tells me she came out of the bathroom with this tooth. He was not happy. 

"Does she need a doctor?" I'm beginning to wonder if there is one of the premises. Next time, I'm saying, yes.

"Um, no, it's a baby tooth."  A molar, but nonetheless, a baby molar.

"Oh, she did this by herself?" He is shocked.

"Can you please tell her not to pull her teeth in the clubhouse anymore?"  

"Yes." I'm pretty sure I can get her to comply.

She was thrilled with herself because this is the third tooth she has pulled without the help of a sibling or parent (long ago she lost faith in all of us because we always told her we just wanted to feel the tooth just before the final jerk. Not a lot of trust happening around here).

All in a day's work.